Technically, i.e. legally, we've been married for 5 1/2 years. Our first wedding took place on October 11th, 2004. It was a secret. Even Linds didn't know about it. We were already planning our wedding and had a date picked out in July but since we were having it in the Bahamas and Michael had lost his visa we had to get married to get married. So on a Monday morning in Vegas we took a limo downtown and got our marriage license and then went to the Little Chapel of the West where they pinned a boutonniere on Michael's shirt and we walked down the aisle to organ music. That wedding wasn't supposed to count. The big, expensive, destination wedding was the only one that was supposed to matter. But when we got to the end of the aisle and the cheesy, little man with the book of vows in his hands said "Please, repeat after me... I, Summer, take you Michael to be my lawfully wedded husband.", we looked at each other and started to cry. Both of us. Because even though we didn't want that wedding to matter, it totally did. We cried our way through the rest of our vows and in some ways that wedding is more special to me than the big Bahamas wedding. It was just for us and we started our life together without anyone else's approval. We didn't need it. We were sure.
I know this is supposed to be advice but I thought you guys could relate to our story a little bit and I wanted to share it with you.
And here's the thing. Life is stressful. Marriage isn't. Be a team. Tell each other when you're stressed out and why. Don't ever assume that you're doing the other person a favor by trying to hide your stress or deal with it yourself. I know it's a cliche but a problem shared is a problem halved every time. Sometimes it makes you feel better just to get whatever it is off your chest. Sometimes the other person will have a perspective you haven't thought of that either helps resolve the situation or just makes it seem not so serious. And sometimes they can't help at all but because you tell them everything, even the hard stuff, you're building a life long trust. That's the most important thing we've learned.
The second thing is that Michael tells me every single day how sexy I am and how much he wants me. He even told me when I hit 210 lbs at the very end of my 2 pregnancies. I knew I wasn't, but it didn't matter because he made me feel wanted. I've still got 30 of those pounds and when I get upset about it he doesn't give me a lecture he says "You look great Babe." Every single time. And I tell him every day how handsome he is and how lucky I feel to be with him because I do but also because I know he feels like he's getting old and looking old sometimes. I don't see it. I still think he's the handsomest man in the world. Cheesy, but true.
I love you both. I am so excited for you. Marriage is awesome. Truly. Enjoy each other.
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