Inspiration All Around

Everywhere I look lately people close to me are pursuing their dreams. My sister is doing research for an historical fiction novel based on the lives of some of our not too distant relatives. My mom is getting her Masters degree. She's 54. My Dad and "not-brother-in-law" are investing in the invention my Dad has been working on and have started a company together. One of my best friends, who I can't name because she'll kill me, has made it through 3 rounds of auditions for a television program, that I can't name because she'll kill me, that is not only reputable but could make an already successful career even more rewarding. I am proud of these people. I love these people. These people inspire me.

But then I looked around and realized that there are a lot of people NOT close to me pursuing their dreams as well. Don't hate me, but I love American Idol. I L-O-V-E it. And yes, the people that can't sing are funny, but I truly admire every single person that gets up in front of those judges and sings for them, good or bad. I would throw up. I would throw up and I would shake like I had had ten red bulls AND there is NO way I would ever remember one word that I intended to sing.

I actually have dreams about it. Scratch that. Nightmares. I have a nightmare that I'm on stage auditioning for American Idol (sometimes it's So You Think You Can Dance) and I'm never prepared and I never know what I'm going to sing (or dance) and usually I'm wearing a bikini and pearls. Pearls? WTF? Anyway, it takes guts to get up on that stage. It takes guts to pursue any dream. Guts I usually don't have and haven't needed up until now because I never had a dream. Seriously, I never had any idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. And then I grew up and I still didn't know. I wanted to do something I loved and I never tried anything that I loved enough to pursue, which is why I kind of followed my Dad's advice and went into software. Parts of it interested me. The process, the big picture, the logic behind the code. But that was it. Nothing to wrap my arms around. Nothing to love.

And then I started to write. And I really like writing. I would like it even if no one were reading it, but people are reading it. People close to me and a few not so close to me and now I'm inspired by them and their encouraging comments and their support. It took guts to publish the first one of these and I got butterflies in my stomach before I clicked "Publish" all 5 times I've sent this blog into my cyber social network, but what I've realized is that the nerves are a good thing. The nerves mean that for the first time ever I care. So for the first time ever I can truly say that I have a dream. I want to be a writer. I love writing and I love it that the people around me inspired me to try. I don't even have to be a successful writer. It's reward enough knowing that I'm going to have something to show for myself at the end of my life. And at the end of the day if I can inspire someone else to pursue doing something they love then I've got even more motivation to keep pursuing this dream and THAT is something I can totally wrap my arms around.